On being pregnant and feeling ugly

Ok. So, if you have ever been pregnant before, and especially if you have been pregnant and had a toddler and have been living in someone else's home in a new state for 3 months...then you know exactly how I feel! You feel tired. Ugly. Fat. Out of shape. Tired. But then there are those glorious days when you get enough sleep and actually take the time to pretty yourself up! For me, that happens oh-so-rarely. I mean, really, really rarely. I think I have felt pretty twice this entire summer. No joke. And I am not fishing for compliments, btw. I am just telling you the truth. And it's okay. Whatever. So I feel gross most of the time. These days will pass. At 29 I'm no spring chicken any more, but Jordan is only 24 so he keeps me young and hip. ;) just kidding. He is so not hip; that's why he has me. I keep him hip. Anyhow, I totally digress. P.s. this is my first time blogging from my cell phone and it is 10:50 at night. (Maybe that's why I feel tired and ugly all the time?!?!) Back to the topic at hand!

This past sunday I got a good amount of sleep and felt decent enough to do my hair! How now, brown cow?! I wore it down Jd slightly pulled back at the sides. I spent, like, AN HOUR curling it and product-ing it. (And this is why it is in a pony tail most days....I don't have the patience to spend an hour curling my hair knowing it will go flat in 30 minutes ). It did go flat. The curls turned into miniscule waves. But whatever. No one can ever tell me I didn't try. So I had to blog about it, of course. Because when one is pregnant, entering their 3rd trimester, up 18lbs from their normal weight, and feeling rather blah about one's overall appearance, one must show the world that they DO have good days! Albeit few and far between.

And so I leave you with a few selfies of this hour-long hair'do. Was it worth it? Ya. I guess so. It helped me feel better about my pregnant-self and I even got a compliment. 27 ish weeks pregnant:

Loving my Son

Julian was not an easy baby. He was your typical Dr. Sear's "High Needs Baby". He nursed every 45 minutes and didn't "sleep through the night" until he was about 2. (He was still waking 6 times a night at that point). I learned to kind of go with the flow with him and follow his cues. I was never away from him for longer than an hour or two until he was 18 months old. He never took a bottle and I was the only one who could put him to bed. A LOT of patience and understanding was needed on Jordan's and my part. It was not easy.

But you know what? It was all worth it and looking back, it was such a short amount of time! He's really turning into such a well-adjusted little boy. He is sweet, loving, and even cuddly! (He was NOT a cuddly baby). The past month or so he has been sleeping great at night! Only waking once or twice and falling asleep easily and on his own. Two weeks ago we started having him nap again and this week he has been able to fall asleep on his own for naps instead of me laying next to him for an hour. He's even been napping an hour straight lately, which is a rarity in and of itself.

As of this week, he is almost fully potty trained. (And he did that on his own, too!). He now knows that pee peeing in his undies feels yucky so he doesn't do it. While at the museum on Monday he was brave enough to potty in the public restroom. He even used the public restroom at the library on Tuesday. (He is terrified of public restrooms due to the loud hand dryers). He naps without a diaper on and will get up and use the potty before falling asleep and when he wakes up. Last night after I put his diaper on and was putting him to bed, he got up and walked around the bedroom looking for his potty so I brought the potty in the room and he used it. He doesn't stay dry overnight, in fact, sometimes he pees so much he leaks through, but I'm not concerned about that in the least. I'm just feeling incredibly "lucky" that he is potty trained at all at the age of 27 months! I was prepared to be changing his diapers for another year.

He's down to nursing maybe once a day and sometimes not at all. I'll admit that I cried hard the first night that I realized he didn't ask for any milky. (This was just a couple weeks ago). I'm okay with it now, because all little babies have to grow up and wean at some point...I just didn't know that it would be so emotional for me!

I am amazed at this little boy. This kind, smart little boy is a good listener and a fast learner. A lot of days I feel like I fail as a mom. I feel like I'm boring. Lazy. Mean. Etc. I don't live up to the standards of motherhood that I would like to live up to. But, he loves me anyhow! He calls me "Princess" and gets jealous when I'm hugging daddy. He hugs me tight when he's falling asleep at night and never wants to let me go. This little guy completely melts my heart and I feel so unworthy of his love. But, so incredibly grateful for it.

Hug your babies tight. Cherish every moment of clingyness, neediness and those horrible sleepless nights! They certainly grow up way too fast.

Updates and Ramblings

Weeks along: 26, give or take.

How I'm feeling: aside from tired and uber emotional, pretty good. Seriously, my hormones this time around are so whack. I have no idea who I am. 

What the baby is doing: baby girl is kicking and moving and being your typical tiny baby in utero! She's been head down for at least a week now and is still like that. I'm sure she'll continue to flip flop about, though. According to all the websites she's about a foot long and a pound and half. 

Weight gain to date: 18lbs. Basically, I'm right on track with where I was at this time with Julian. I feel large, to be honest. But hey, I'm pretty sure all pregnant women feel large at some point in their pregnancy. I mean, I packed on nearly 20lbs in a matter of months. Scary. 

Next appointment: Tuesday, August 20th to do the glucose testing. Everyone hos and hums and huffs and puffs about this one. I have it pretty easy, I think. I don't even have to drink the goo. All I do is eat a hearty bfast of 2 eggs, 2 pieces of toast, 8oz of OJ, 8oz of milk (in my case, almond milk) and 8oz of water. After I shove it all in there as quickly as possibly and attempt to not pee my pants, then I go to my appointment (an hour after eating) and they draw my blood.

What's happening in G-ville: I'm really enjoying our twice-a-week romps to the library. Julian's little personality shines when we are at storytime. Some days he's your typical cranky, ornery, shy 2 year old and some days he's full of energy, loving every second of it! Last week he was so cute. They passed out scarves to play with during music time. Julian had to go around the room to every single adult, put his face right in their face, smile his huge, adorable smile and wave his scarf at them. He also tried getting a little 18 month old girl to dance with him. 

We always look forward to Sundays. I haven't been hanging out with people too much during the week, but on Sundays we get to have some good teaching and fellowship. Julian has even learned to sit through an entire hour and a half church service without talking or running around. Pretty amazing. I didn't think it was possible for a 2 year old to do that, but after a few Sundays of trying it out, he just got used to it. Of course, I bring a coloring book, crayons, a bag of small toys, stickers, juice and snacks...but hey, you do what you gotta do! Haha. He learns things very quickly and it amazes me all the time! He really is such a good, sweet little guy.

So when do we go back to Cali: Soon! The time has gone by quickly and the end date is near! We leave on Thursday, August 29th after being here for 12 weeks. While I am definitely looking forward to being back home, I will miss the amazing people I have met at Redemption OPC. What a loving, caring, kind, and open church family! I tend to get very attached to people, so I'm not excited at all about our last day and saying our "goodbyes". I will cry, just a fair warning. I was an emotional person before getting pregnant and those emotions have now been magnified x100.

What happens when we get home: Literally, the next day, Jordan starts school! I know, crazy. We will just be diving right in and being busy. The following week Julian and I will head to SLO to have a LONG OVERDUE visit with our family!!! Julian talks about his grandparents almost daily. Jordan will be able to join us there later, but just for a couple of days due to school.

I've had the pleasure of coordinating and helping plan my wonderful sister-in-law's bridal shower coming up in October, so in that month I will once again travel to SLO to help with that. I'm excited! I love weddings. :) And family weddings are the best. Although I wouldn't really know because this is the first one I've officially been part of!

Then comes November! Due date month! I really don't know when this baby is going to come, but I have 3 EDD's: Nov 15th, 18th and 22nd. Julian came 4 days "early" and I'm feeling the 18th might be our closest bet for baby girl! Either way, she'll come when she's ready. Just not too late because I have a wedding to attend on December 7th! Oh ya, Thanksgiving is around this time, too. Well, I have a feeling Turkey Day will be spent with some nice family in Escondido who has pity on us. :)

Which brings us to the December month! WEDDING TIME! Sis-in-law is marrying Marky Mark the first weekend of December and it will be just a lovely, beautiful event! Jordan and I will be "honorary bridesmaid and groomsman", accompanying Julian down the aisle, and oh, baby sister will be in tow as well! How cute is that? Truly a family event and we are so happy to celebrate with our loved ones! :) Right after the wedding, Jordan will be taking his finals and then a couple weeks later it's Christmas!

FOR REALS, PEOPLE! This year is going to fly by so fast for my family! Jordan graduates from Seminary in May and then it is on to a whole new place and a whole new life! I'm really looking forward to whatever surprises God has in store for us. Just please, let them be in California. ;)

And some pics:

Me in all my pregnant glory: yoga pants, comfy Nike flip flops tank, pony tail. Oh yes people. Glamorous, indeed. 

A cute, cute little boy crawled into my bed and said he was daddy, then proceeded to grabbing Jordan's Bible and "reading" it. Melts.my.heart. 

Just a quick snapshot of us. :) Boy, do we look tired!

My sweet little monkey climbed into these baskets and did what he does best: looked cute. 

Beginning Week 4 of Our Summer in Florida

As I just mentioned in my last post, we officially made it through week 3 of Gainesville, Florida. On to week 4! Lots of fun things are happening this week, it seems. One of them is happening on Wednesday. Bright and early in the morning we are having our "20 week scan" (I will technically be about 18 1/2 weeks) to check on the baby and find out if it is a boy or a girl! I've posted a lot about baby already on my FB page, but just to recap on my pregnancy:

* My EDD is somewhere between November 15th-22nd and any time 2 weeks before or 2 weeks after.
* I am about 18/19 weeks along right now.
* Baby seems to be quite active, almost moreso than Julian was?! I can feel him/her moving regularly, even from the outside.
* Weight gain to date is approximately 10ish or more pounds. I don't really keep track. All I know is I look the same at this time as I did with Julian.
* I feel good! Tired, but good. My cravings are starting to hit a little harder these days, mostly chocolate. thankfully I also continue to crave fruits and veggies. And Caesar salad! Mmm. I may have to go have some more salad, even though it is already after 10pm.
* So far this pregnancy has been "uneventful". The best kind! Although continued prayers are always good.

How are we adjusting to North East Florida? How do we like it here? We hear those questions frequently. Here is how I would answer:  Adjusting to the weather has been a challenge. The humidity isn't unbearable, but the heat is not pleasant. I am not used to it staying warm all night long, either. I miss being able to open the windows to get some fresh air. It does 'cool down' to about 70 at night, but the humidity makes it nearly impossible to keep windows open. Everything in the house begins to feel damp if windows are open. Since we are subletting a nice, furnished home, we strive to do our best to keep it mold-free. Thus, not opening windows and allowing it to get damp inside. We are blessed with a good AC unit and ceiling fans throughout, however. :) I find that due to the heat, I must drink an obscene amount of water. I've taken to keeping a tally of my water intake so I don't forget, otherwise I end up feeling nauseous and with frequent Braxton Hicks. Needless to say, I go to the bathroom about every half hour. Oh the joys of pregnancy.

We really enjoy our location here. I feel like we are smack dab in the middle, which makes if very convenient for going to church, visiting friends, grocery shopping, etc. We are a 4 minute drive from downtown and the library, which sure is handy! I am also a 2 minute drive from the Birth Center which is where I am receiving my prenatal care for the duration of our stay. I've only met our next door neighbor who's name is Tim. He is a very friendly, 63 year old hippie stoner. :) He'd probably fit in perfectly in Morro Bay or Los Osos. When I met him he was carrying an empty thing of beers out to the recycle and sporting long, grey greasy hair, a tie-dyed shirt and the aroma of weed. Thankfully, he didn't even bat an eye at Julian, who was running around nearly butt naked, save his amber teething necklace and a pair of sandals. To him, toddlers running around naked in the summertime in Florida is totally normally. :)

This Sunday night Jordan will be exhorting his first sermon here at Redemption Orthodox Presbyterian church. Pretty exciting and definitely scary (for ME!) This is what we are here for. This paves the way for our future! What a great adventure! Prayers for Jordan for this Sunday and the following Sundays are greatly appreciated. This internship is a major blessing and we couldn't be more thrilled to have Jordan being mentored by and learning from Pastor Joel Fick and the elders of this church.

Our week without daddy

It is Monday night. That means we have officially been in Gainesville for 3 weeks! I still can't tell if it is going by slowly or quickly. Both, I suppose? Here is a look at what went down last week:

On Monday afternoon I dropped Jordan off at our pastor's house and he embarked on a two-hour drive south to Brooksville, Florida to be a Jr. High camp counselor. The camp is called "Reformed Youth Conference" and from what I can tell, Jordan had a good time and was welcomed and liked by his fellow staffers and the campers! He's pretty lovable and fun, so I don't blame them.

Julian and I had a total of 4 nights (which honestly felt like an eternity) by ourselves, in a strange new home, in a strange new neighborhood, in a strange new town, in a strange new state a whopping 2500 miles away from all we know and love. We had only been here for 2 two weeks so I wasn't fond of this, but obviously, we survived.

As you probably read on my facebook page, I'm a major scaredy-cat when it comes to sleeping in a strange new place without my husband. I proceeded to hanging sheets over any window or door that was glass and did not have a curtain or blinds. (Because it is seriously creepy at night when you can't see out, but "they" can see in!). I also barricaded the doors with chairs, brooms, bicycles and toy cars. (Because even though the bad guys could still get in, I would surely hear the commotion before they got to me!). I armed my night stand with a can of Raid, a large frying pan and an iron firewood poker. And on top of all that, I left the living room lights on. The bedroom door does not have a lock on it, so the first night I left it wide open and also left the TV and hall light on. Well, that night I didn't sleep a wink. So, the following nights I wizened up and instead closed the bedroom door and blocked it with the large dresser. Every.Single.Night.

***As you can see, no crazed axe-murders, zombies or rapists entered my home. Phew!*** And now Jordan is home! Never allowed to leave me again! :)  So what did Julian and I do last week whilst the beloved husband and daddy was gone away, entertaining hordes of 12 year olds?

Monday - we took it easy. I think we were both a little depressed that daddy was gone so we watched TV all day.

Tuesday - I knew I needed to get us out of the house so we drove 20 minutes across town to this great zoo. It is a teaching zoo at one of the colleges here. It cost only $5.00 for me to get in and Julian was free. The staff was all very friendly, too. Julian kept expecting to see gorillas and elephants, but in the end I think he was more than satisfied with the alligator, snakes, Galapagos tortoises, various monkeys, tree kangaroos, and peacocks. We'll definitely be visiting that zoo again!

Wednesday - I finally got up the nerve to invite myself over to a friend's house! We spent the morning with a my sweet new friend, Megan Hill and her two sons, Sammy (2) and Jed (6 months). Julian really enjoyed playing with all of Sammy's fun dinosaurs, books, trains, puzzles and outside play structure. He also got to eat bacon for lunch. I mean, seriously, what can get better than that? Plus, I got to indulge in some grown-up conversation! Woo hoo!

Thursday - this day was library storytime day. We plan on doing this every week. It's just a quick 20 minutes, but so worth it. Stories, songs, toys and friends at the library. :) Good times. We also managed to make a stop in a Starbucks and Trader Joe's! My beloved TJs...oh how I missed thee.

Friday - Today we were supposed to go to the Splash Park with some lovely church friends. BUT, Julian and I slept very poorly, had quite the cranky morning and tiny baby was making me feel extra tired and extra nauseous. So instead we had a slow morning and then eventually made it to Julian's new favorite place in the whole wide world, The Florida Museum of Natural History! Spent nearly 2 hours there and only had to pay for parking. I have a feeling this will be a regular hang out for Julian and I.

Saturday - We picked up daddy today!! YAHOO!!

So that was our week without the most important man in our lives! We had a good time. Kept ourselves busy. But I have to say, having Jordan home all the time trumps having solo mommy-son time any day. Hehehe. At the end of every night I was more exhausted and more stressed than usual and by Saturday I was ready to sleep for a month straight.

On to Week 17 or 18

Official 17 week mark today! (Or 18 weeks depending on if you go by the U/S tech's measurements). All those pregnancy websites say that baby is about 5oz and 5 inches. So far this pregnancy has been "easy". A had a lot of nausea in the first trimester and I still get nausea in the morning if I don't get enough sleep or don't eat protein right away. i feel the baby moving often! Multiple times a day and especially at night. (The usual). Gained about 9lbs so far. (With Julian as this time I had gained 11lbs). Don't have as huge as an appetite as i did in the first trimester, but still trying to eat as healthy as possible. (Aside from those ice cream drumsticks I bought yesterday...ahem)

I'm still in awe every time baby moves. Nothing really seems much different than when I was pregnant with Julian. So, no guesses on gender. I mean, I think I'm leaning toward boy simply because I already have one and that's what I'm used to. Either way, we find out on Wednesday, June 26th! I've never one to be patient enough to keep it a surprise until the baby is born. Wish I could, but like the typical American that I am, I want it now! It will be nice to be able to narrow down a name, too! (And let's be honest, I really want to be able to buy a few baby items ASAP.)

And I leave you with my 17/18 week tiny baby bump:

Monday, May 27th, 2013

Haven't blogged in about forever, but I figure since we're about to embark on a fantastic summer journey across the southern most part of the U.S. that blogging would be far less annoying than updated my FB status every 5 minutes. Because let's face it, you know I would.

So just a few things today:

1) We still need to get the AC fixed on our van. Not sure what's wrong with it just yet, but praying it's in the lower cost range and that we'll find a place that's open today.

2) I made my coffee STRONG this morning because I have a kajillion things to do and didn't get enough sleep thanks to my inability to fall asleep before midnight, my middle of the night romps to the potty room and my sweet son waking up at 6:30 am no matter what time he falls asleep.

3) We leave on Wednesday evening around 4 pm. That gives us approximately 55 hours to accomplish things that in reality, we could use about 10 times that many hours.

4) I've been cleaning my butt off for the sweet renters who will be helping us out this summer. Sadly, one of them is very allergic to CATS! Eeek! The cats are at my beloved mother-in-law's house for the summer, but I know how bad kitty dander is.  That stuff sticks to everything. I've been scrubbing walls and cabinets. Washing every article of fabric possible. Jordan's been vacuuming under all the furniture. I don't think it will be enough as cat dander is known to stay in place up to 9 months after the pet leaves and the place gets cleaned. PRAY all goes well and our renter can breathe!

4) I have a prenatal appointment in Hillcrest (about 35 min south) tomorrow afternoon. I'm about 14 1/2 weeks along and finally have a little bump to prove it. I'm feeling good these day, albeit the normal pregnancy fatigue.

5) I felt Tiny move last night and this morning! It felt different than those initial flutters of Julian around 15 weeks. I actually recognized some distinct movement and although I was skeptical at first, I really can't deny that it happened!

6) And I leave you with my 14 1/2 week bump, 8ish pounds gained and one pant size larger: