Beyond thankful for a healthy baby thus far

I am part of the May 2011 baby club on this website called Babycenter.com. Sometimes the threads that the expectant mothers post are quite amusing, sometimes they are annoying, sometimes they are odd, and honestly, some of the women on there are ignorant and stupid. (Yes, I'm harsh, but it's true.)

The women in my particular birth club (and there are over 6,000) are all due sometime in May. So, we very from being about 19 weeks to 24 weeks, give or take. Most of the women have found out the gender of their little one, some are having twins, some are as big as whales! Some are not even showing yet. (WHAT? Ya, crazy, I know) Some of them are married, some are single, some are in the military, some are in abusive relationships. Some are 16, some are 38.

That saddest thing is that some of them have discovered birth defects in their growing baby, suffered miscarriages recently or are going into preterm labor. Many of the women who have been told their baby has a birth defect (such as trisomy 18) are going to have to go into an induced labor and deliver their baby, only to have them not survive - in essence, their doctor is telling them they must have an abortion because their baby won't survive anyhow. On these types of threads I just keep my opinions to my self and my mouth shut. I've already had one of my responses deleted by a site manager because I said abortion is like murder. I certainly have some VERY strong opinions on abortion and some other issues. I'm quite conservative...

I'm not in their situation so I don't know what they are going through. I know what I would need to do in their circumstances, however. I would still keep the baby as long as I possibly could, until the Lord took him/her away from me - not a doctor. When a baby is diagnosed with Trisomy 18, he or she only has a 50% chance of not being still born. He or she can still go on to live a few months, even years. I couldn't bear to abort my child knowing that he/she has a 50% chance of being in this world with me for even a few days. Is that selfish of me? No, I don't think so. I'm bound by God's law not to take an innocent life. I can tell you this, I NEVER want to experience a still born birth. I know women who have and my heart goes out to them. God could make me one of those women at some point in my life and I'm not gonna lie, if it happens, it would likely be one of the most difficult things I would ever go through.

All that being said. I'm insanely, incredibly, over-joyously grateful that thus far, our baby boy is healthy. He's growing at a perfectly normal rate. His organs are all working properly and he is moving around in my womb just as he is supposed to. I opted out of doing any of those tests to see if he has defects. I don't want to know, I don't need to know. I don't need that sort of worry and heartache in my life right now. Right now, all I need to know is that he's healthy - and he is. If it turns out he has a defect or Downs Syndrome, then I wouldn't want to know that until much later on in my pregnancy or after I give birth. I know that God will sustain me if He gives me a child who is not going to survive past birth or live a long life.

Soooo, I pray for my baby daily and thank God daily for him! I'm 99.9% confident that he is going to be born healthy, to term and perfect. Call me optimistic, but really, I have no reason not to be at this moment. 

5th OB appointment

22 weeks 5 days pregnant today. Had my 5th OB appointment - baby is healthy, I'm measuring perfectly, blood pressure is good, gained 19 lbs thus far (wow!) Doing my glucose test in 3 weeks...icky! She said I will probably have to go on a higher dosage of iron because my hemoglobin levels are still low. I already take an iron supplement, but I guess it's not enough! She said to make sure I am getting enough red meat (which I probably eat about once a month....) and I'm taking my prenatals. I'm actually taking a children's multi-vitamin and a natural iron supplement because the prenatals make me sick. I did research and found out exactly how much of each vitamin/mineral/etc I need as a pregnant gal and with the two vitamins combined, I should be getting just the right amount. Now I'm a little worried though? But, baby looks healthy...hmmm. 

Anyhow, so tired today! I don't sleep well anymore, not like I have since I've become pregnant in the first place. The problem is with our bed. It's too small! We sleep on a full, which was fine pre-preggers, but now that I like to sprawl out and sleep with lots of pillows, I just don't sleep. Oh well, such is life, right? Now I need to get ready to head to the social services office and get them to start up my food stamps again - they canceled them because I never turned in my quarterly report for December. WELL...it was their fault! I called them the week that I was supposed to turn it in to let them know that I never received the reporting form. I left a message and they never called me back. I finally got a hold of them yesterday and they said I need to come in and fill it out now. I think I may take a nap before I tackle the S.S. Office. 

 Oh, and did I mention yet that this baby boy is super duper active and strong? I'm sure I have a zillion times - but it never ceases to amaze me! It seriously feels like he is performing some crazy karate moves in there. Other times I swear he's doing somersaults. Sometimes it's waaaay down low...and other times it's right above my belly button. Oh, and of course from far left to far right. He's active alright! It doesn't quite hurt, but it definitely feels weird, in a cool and awesome sort of way. And also, my belly looks really funny from the outside when he's moving around in there.

Home Again, Home Again, Dweedle Lee Dee!

After a two week "vacation" at the coast visiting family and friends, we are finally HOME! It feels so good to be back in our cozy apartment with our kitties. :) The house was freezing when we got here, but thankfully, our little 925sq ft apartment heats up quickly with just a flip of a heater switch! The kitties were quite happy to have us back and I'm happy to say, did not forget who we were! Whew! Hehe. The fridge and pantry were bare...to be expected when one leaves home for 2 weeks. Soooo we promptly went to the grocery store today and spent $22 on $150 worth of food. (Praise the LORD for food stamps and WIC because we wouldn't be surviving without them!)

It's been a fun and faith producing experience living on this tiny income we have since I quit my job in September. (So worth it, btw!) Most people probably think we are crazy. In all honesty, most people wouldn't be able to live on the amount of money we make and have in our bank account. Thanks to God for miraculously providing for us financially. With Jordan's tutoring income, and our uncanny ability to keep to a tiny, no-frills budget, we are able to do it! Every month we're like, can we pay rent next month? I dunno...let me go over our budget and bank account again...yup, someone there's enough money in there! Seriously, THANK YOU GOD.

Anyhow, running out of time, so I will post more later. Here is my latest belly bump! 22 weeks and 2 days today. :) Gained about 15 lbs thus far - whoo hoo! Grow, baby, grow!

Definitely "popped" from week 15 to week 19!

We are having a boy!!!

Yesterday was full of anticipation and nervousness for me, and for Jordan. I had my 18 week regular OB check up at 3:20 and then at 4:00 we were doing the anatomy scan and gender determination ultrasound. I could hardly wait for the day to pass and the afternoon to get here! My good friend Sarah came over for a couple hours and helped keep me occupied, which was awesome! The time just flew right on by. Finally Jordan came home from school and we were off to my first appointment with my doctor.

(A side note – I really love my doctor’s office! Everyone there is so sweet and nice. My doctor herself is a little unperson-able, but her nurse is fabulous, the gal who weighs me and takes my BP is always funny and talkative and the receptionist is just sweet as sugar! The place is clean, organized, and prompt. I don’t feel like they have done any unnecessary procedures or anything less than they should – very blessed to be there!)

Anyhow…Dr. Bosch checked the heartbeat, which was great – about 150 – and just asked me some questions to make sure I was still healthy and feeling good. So far, I told her I was great! This pregnancy has been a breeze, in all honestly, and I THANK GOD for that! My BP rose, however, but we are assuming that is due to my excitement and nervousness in regards to the upcoming ultrasound. (It is normally 116/60 and went to 136/60!) After that appointment we went back into the waiting room until I was called in for the ultrasound!

The U/S tech’s name is Cory and she, too, was very nice! We spend about 40 minutes in there and she did all the measurements to deduct a more accurate EDD – which is still May 6^th, however technically I am 18 week 6 days and he is measuring 19 weeks 6 days. We listened to his heartbeat again and saw the zig zaggy lines of his heart on the big screen (our U/S screen is huge, btw!! So awesome.) She said his HB is about 147. Everything seemed to be in place and working properly! Kidneys, heart, brain, it was amazing! I know that both Jordan and I were nervous because you never know what sort of thing could go wrong when a baby is being MADE inside a woman’s womb. How do you prepare to hear bad news??? But, God showed us that His hand is on our baby boy (He created Him, after all) and so far, so good! Even if something was wrong with our baby, all praise be to God!

A few seconds into the U/S came THE BIG REVEAL!!! Oh the anticipation of it all!!! After waiting for nearly 5 months we were finally going to see if our baby had boy parts, or girl parts! As soon as Cory put that little thing where his booty was we saw a very prominent boy part!! Clear as day! No misunderstanding! Our little boy had no shame. J We are both incredibly excited and overjoyed! Both of us have always wanted to have a little boy first and for some reason, God gave us that exact desire. Well, baby boy was moving all about, kicking and waving and trying to scoot away from the U/S tech – it was pretty amusing. Sweet Jordan didn’t want to say anything, but he was afraid that all that poking and prodding on my tummy was upsetting the baby. I love my husband! He’s right, baby doesn’t like being pressed on and tries to get away when things bother him, but I think he’ll come away from this experienced unscathed. J

We went out to eat afterward to celebrate the joyous occasion! Where did we go? Why our favorite spot in Fresno – Chevy’s! Jordan said we had to get something with steak in it, since we are having a boy now, of course. We got the yummiest platter of food…soooo good! Just FYI, this was my 4^th time going to the Chevy’s in River Park and they have never steered me wrong! Always delicious! P.S. since we are on a budget, we used a $5.00 off coupon, ordered waters (like we always do) and shared the massive meal. A wonderful date night celebration for only $13, including tip! We know how to party it up!

All said and done, I did not sleep a wink last night! My brain would not shut down – it just kept thinking about our baby boy, boy things, boy clothes, boy nursery décor, etc. Some people may choose to wait to find out the gender of their baby, desiring a big surprise in the delivery room – but not us! I don’t think I could have handled waiting any longer! I commend those who have the patience to wait; but I know me…I want it all now! Hehe. Let the real nesting begin!

That's my 10oz baby boy!

And that's his pee pee!

Crossing his legs - so cute!

Might be hard to tell, but that's his little face, see his nose? His hand is over his forehead!

The U/S tech said "ooooh so dramatic' and flug her hand over her face just like he did, it was so funny!

BEST maternity purchase thus far!!!

So, I was recently lamenting over the fact that I can no longer squeeze my fat A into my super dark skinny jeans. :( They were a staple item in my wordrobe! Well, after traipsing all about (Kohls, Target, Old Navy) I finally went to Destination Maternity and found the most wonderfully perfect dark skinny jeans a la maternity style!! They were a little pricey (39.98) but to me, they are so worth it. They are nearly identical to my beloved pre-prego ones (which I got at Marshalls, go figure!) They have literally allowed me to have about 10 more winter maternity outfits (which is very nice because I was tired of looking frumpy for church and also needed some nice pants for the holidays with family.) Ah. Sweet success. :)

Ya, I just blogged about pants. Cool, huh?

Feeling guilty...

...because sometimes (oftentimes) I don't do ANYTHING productive for the first couple hours of the morning. It's not like I'm getting up early and relaxing before the day starts or anything, either. Lately I don't get up till about 9 or 10. Jordan goes to school full time and works part time, so he's gone for the first few hours of the morning. I putz around, go on Facebook, Baby Center, check my e-mail, look at apartments on Craigslist (because we are moving next summer) and eat. That's about it...

I guess I justify this laziness by the fact that in 5 months, my life will be dramatically different and changed.We've only been married for 7 months, and we never lived together or anything beforehand (duh). We didn't have much time to enjoy being newly married and without kids before I got pregnant. Literally, 3 months later we found out we were expecting. (Though you know me (us, really) we couldn't be happier!)

I don't work right now. I was a lead preschool teacher for a two year old class and halfway through my first trimester, I resigned because I was nauseous all the time and exhausted - none of those things make for a very productive preschool teacher when you have 10 - 20 two year olds hanging on you! Not to mention I was getting sick all the time! Bronchitis, the flu, the stomach flu and colds at least once a month. I was just done.

So now in 5 months I have the baby, my husband graduates with his Bachelors and we move from Fresno to San Diego so he can continue his education by getting his Masters. While he is doing that I will be a first time new mom and starting up an in home daycare to get us through those 3 or 4 years of him being in rigorous training. (He is going to be a pastor and the school he is going to is tough!) I'm going to be quite busy taking care of my newborn along with a few other infants.

So that's my story. Just writing it out helps me not feel so guilty about my nonproductive mornings :)

1 Week!

In exactly 1 week from today we find out if our little baby is a boy or a girl!! I am giddy with anticipation! I hope he/she cooperates and doesn't "hide the goods". Hehe. :) I can't wait to be able to start buying things for baby! I know my mom/sister/MIL/SIL are all very anxious to start buying things, as well. They are all hoping for a girl, as is everyone else in my life. Wondering what this special little someone is???? Only God knows right now and He is totally in control of it! Yay!

Also, been feeling this little baby move a lot lately! A lot, meaning like three times. Haha. But last night he/she kicked quite a few times! So cool! I can't wait to lie in bed and hopefully feel it again tonight. It is the best feeling!

GIDDY!

I'm so giddy! Just like a school girl with a new crush. Hehe. :) My reason? I'm really excited about the next chapter of my life!! The chapter that I am in right now is swell and all, and I know that God has us in this tough spot for a reason, but I can't wait for our move to San Diego!!! Come May there will be a lot of changes in my/Jordan's/OUR lives! Graduation from FPU, baby, moving! So much will be happening and it is all so exciting and exhilarating to think about. I'm not gonna lie, this past year has been tough! We have been married for 7 1/2 months and SO much has happened...the big one being getting pregnant. When baby is born, we will have been married for just shy of a year. Pretty crazy, eh? It's exciting and scary all at the same time.

Now my goal is to be a better wife, gain more patience with where I am at in my life right now, and be productive! I need to learn how to focus on the "here and now" instead of planning my entire life for 6 months from now. Oh, it's.just.so.hard! I am a planner. It might even be borderline OCD the amount of time I spend looking at apartments on craigslist for North San Diego. Seriously, I scare myself. I mean really, it's pointless for me to search for apartments 6 or 7 months before we move and pointless for Jordan to look for a job, but I can't help it!

Anyhow, I'm still excited. :)

Growing Belly Pictures

Soooo, it may not look like much to you, but to me, I see the growing-ness of my belly. Pretty sweet, eh? Mind you, all of these pictures were taken first thing in the morning, before I ate. HAHA. So, my question is, when will I start to pop out!?! Today I am 15 weeks and 5 days. That's like, 4 months...come on baby...make yourself known! This is an awkward stage for me. Regular clothes are too small and preggo clothes are too big. My shirts are all too short and my pants all give me muffin top. Arrrg!