On being pregnant and feeling ugly

Ok. So, if you have ever been pregnant before, and especially if you have been pregnant and had a toddler and have been living in someone else's home in a new state for 3 months...then you know exactly how I feel! You feel tired. Ugly. Fat. Out of shape. Tired. But then there are those glorious days when you get enough sleep and actually take the time to pretty yourself up! For me, that happens oh-so-rarely. I mean, really, really rarely. I think I have felt pretty twice this entire summer. No joke. And I am not fishing for compliments, btw. I am just telling you the truth. And it's okay. Whatever. So I feel gross most of the time. These days will pass. At 29 I'm no spring chicken any more, but Jordan is only 24 so he keeps me young and hip. ;) just kidding. He is so not hip; that's why he has me. I keep him hip. Anyhow, I totally digress. P.s. this is my first time blogging from my cell phone and it is 10:50 at night. (Maybe that's why I feel tired and ugly all the time?!?!) Back to the topic at hand!

This past sunday I got a good amount of sleep and felt decent enough to do my hair! How now, brown cow?! I wore it down Jd slightly pulled back at the sides. I spent, like, AN HOUR curling it and product-ing it. (And this is why it is in a pony tail most days....I don't have the patience to spend an hour curling my hair knowing it will go flat in 30 minutes ). It did go flat. The curls turned into miniscule waves. But whatever. No one can ever tell me I didn't try. So I had to blog about it, of course. Because when one is pregnant, entering their 3rd trimester, up 18lbs from their normal weight, and feeling rather blah about one's overall appearance, one must show the world that they DO have good days! Albeit few and far between.

And so I leave you with a few selfies of this hour-long hair'do. Was it worth it? Ya. I guess so. It helped me feel better about my pregnant-self and I even got a compliment. 27 ish weeks pregnant:

Loving my Son

Julian was not an easy baby. He was your typical Dr. Sear's "High Needs Baby". He nursed every 45 minutes and didn't "sleep through the night" until he was about 2. (He was still waking 6 times a night at that point). I learned to kind of go with the flow with him and follow his cues. I was never away from him for longer than an hour or two until he was 18 months old. He never took a bottle and I was the only one who could put him to bed. A LOT of patience and understanding was needed on Jordan's and my part. It was not easy.

But you know what? It was all worth it and looking back, it was such a short amount of time! He's really turning into such a well-adjusted little boy. He is sweet, loving, and even cuddly! (He was NOT a cuddly baby). The past month or so he has been sleeping great at night! Only waking once or twice and falling asleep easily and on his own. Two weeks ago we started having him nap again and this week he has been able to fall asleep on his own for naps instead of me laying next to him for an hour. He's even been napping an hour straight lately, which is a rarity in and of itself.

As of this week, he is almost fully potty trained. (And he did that on his own, too!). He now knows that pee peeing in his undies feels yucky so he doesn't do it. While at the museum on Monday he was brave enough to potty in the public restroom. He even used the public restroom at the library on Tuesday. (He is terrified of public restrooms due to the loud hand dryers). He naps without a diaper on and will get up and use the potty before falling asleep and when he wakes up. Last night after I put his diaper on and was putting him to bed, he got up and walked around the bedroom looking for his potty so I brought the potty in the room and he used it. He doesn't stay dry overnight, in fact, sometimes he pees so much he leaks through, but I'm not concerned about that in the least. I'm just feeling incredibly "lucky" that he is potty trained at all at the age of 27 months! I was prepared to be changing his diapers for another year.

He's down to nursing maybe once a day and sometimes not at all. I'll admit that I cried hard the first night that I realized he didn't ask for any milky. (This was just a couple weeks ago). I'm okay with it now, because all little babies have to grow up and wean at some point...I just didn't know that it would be so emotional for me!

I am amazed at this little boy. This kind, smart little boy is a good listener and a fast learner. A lot of days I feel like I fail as a mom. I feel like I'm boring. Lazy. Mean. Etc. I don't live up to the standards of motherhood that I would like to live up to. But, he loves me anyhow! He calls me "Princess" and gets jealous when I'm hugging daddy. He hugs me tight when he's falling asleep at night and never wants to let me go. This little guy completely melts my heart and I feel so unworthy of his love. But, so incredibly grateful for it.

Hug your babies tight. Cherish every moment of clingyness, neediness and those horrible sleepless nights! They certainly grow up way too fast.

Updates and Ramblings

Weeks along: 26, give or take.

How I'm feeling: aside from tired and uber emotional, pretty good. Seriously, my hormones this time around are so whack. I have no idea who I am. 

What the baby is doing: baby girl is kicking and moving and being your typical tiny baby in utero! She's been head down for at least a week now and is still like that. I'm sure she'll continue to flip flop about, though. According to all the websites she's about a foot long and a pound and half. 

Weight gain to date: 18lbs. Basically, I'm right on track with where I was at this time with Julian. I feel large, to be honest. But hey, I'm pretty sure all pregnant women feel large at some point in their pregnancy. I mean, I packed on nearly 20lbs in a matter of months. Scary. 

Next appointment: Tuesday, August 20th to do the glucose testing. Everyone hos and hums and huffs and puffs about this one. I have it pretty easy, I think. I don't even have to drink the goo. All I do is eat a hearty bfast of 2 eggs, 2 pieces of toast, 8oz of OJ, 8oz of milk (in my case, almond milk) and 8oz of water. After I shove it all in there as quickly as possibly and attempt to not pee my pants, then I go to my appointment (an hour after eating) and they draw my blood.

What's happening in G-ville: I'm really enjoying our twice-a-week romps to the library. Julian's little personality shines when we are at storytime. Some days he's your typical cranky, ornery, shy 2 year old and some days he's full of energy, loving every second of it! Last week he was so cute. They passed out scarves to play with during music time. Julian had to go around the room to every single adult, put his face right in their face, smile his huge, adorable smile and wave his scarf at them. He also tried getting a little 18 month old girl to dance with him. 

We always look forward to Sundays. I haven't been hanging out with people too much during the week, but on Sundays we get to have some good teaching and fellowship. Julian has even learned to sit through an entire hour and a half church service without talking or running around. Pretty amazing. I didn't think it was possible for a 2 year old to do that, but after a few Sundays of trying it out, he just got used to it. Of course, I bring a coloring book, crayons, a bag of small toys, stickers, juice and snacks...but hey, you do what you gotta do! Haha. He learns things very quickly and it amazes me all the time! He really is such a good, sweet little guy.

So when do we go back to Cali: Soon! The time has gone by quickly and the end date is near! We leave on Thursday, August 29th after being here for 12 weeks. While I am definitely looking forward to being back home, I will miss the amazing people I have met at Redemption OPC. What a loving, caring, kind, and open church family! I tend to get very attached to people, so I'm not excited at all about our last day and saying our "goodbyes". I will cry, just a fair warning. I was an emotional person before getting pregnant and those emotions have now been magnified x100.

What happens when we get home: Literally, the next day, Jordan starts school! I know, crazy. We will just be diving right in and being busy. The following week Julian and I will head to SLO to have a LONG OVERDUE visit with our family!!! Julian talks about his grandparents almost daily. Jordan will be able to join us there later, but just for a couple of days due to school.

I've had the pleasure of coordinating and helping plan my wonderful sister-in-law's bridal shower coming up in October, so in that month I will once again travel to SLO to help with that. I'm excited! I love weddings. :) And family weddings are the best. Although I wouldn't really know because this is the first one I've officially been part of!

Then comes November! Due date month! I really don't know when this baby is going to come, but I have 3 EDD's: Nov 15th, 18th and 22nd. Julian came 4 days "early" and I'm feeling the 18th might be our closest bet for baby girl! Either way, she'll come when she's ready. Just not too late because I have a wedding to attend on December 7th! Oh ya, Thanksgiving is around this time, too. Well, I have a feeling Turkey Day will be spent with some nice family in Escondido who has pity on us. :)

Which brings us to the December month! WEDDING TIME! Sis-in-law is marrying Marky Mark the first weekend of December and it will be just a lovely, beautiful event! Jordan and I will be "honorary bridesmaid and groomsman", accompanying Julian down the aisle, and oh, baby sister will be in tow as well! How cute is that? Truly a family event and we are so happy to celebrate with our loved ones! :) Right after the wedding, Jordan will be taking his finals and then a couple weeks later it's Christmas!

FOR REALS, PEOPLE! This year is going to fly by so fast for my family! Jordan graduates from Seminary in May and then it is on to a whole new place and a whole new life! I'm really looking forward to whatever surprises God has in store for us. Just please, let them be in California. ;)

And some pics:

Me in all my pregnant glory: yoga pants, comfy Nike flip flops tank, pony tail. Oh yes people. Glamorous, indeed. 

A cute, cute little boy crawled into my bed and said he was daddy, then proceeded to grabbing Jordan's Bible and "reading" it. Melts.my.heart. 

Just a quick snapshot of us. :) Boy, do we look tired!

My sweet little monkey climbed into these baskets and did what he does best: looked cute.