A Shamelessly Proud Mama of a Toddler Growing Up Far Too Fast

Today I nearly cried. Now, that's not that unusual of an experience for me. I'm quite naturally an emotional person to begin with. Add to that naturalness the hormones related to breastfeeding and you occasionally have a blubbering fool on your hands. But I digress.

Without a doubt, every mother has this "sudden" realization occur once in a while - my baby is growing up! Yes, yes, that was the epiphany I had this afternoon as I watched my sweet little toddler romping about, darting back-and-forth between the deck and the living room. He's running. He's walking backwards. He's walking backwards IN CIRCLES. He's learning what "jumping" is and how to "walk slooooow" and "walk FAST!". He can point out countless animals and objects in our (multiple) daily reading sessions. 

Today when we were looking at a picture of me on Facebook I said, "Julian, who's that?" (While pointing to said photo). "Mama!" He sweetly said! OH.MY.GOSH. Melt my heart, child! That was the first time he's actually verbally acknowledged who I am. I'm his mama. I love being his mama...his very shamelessly proud mama. 

The Latest Nitty Gritty

It's been a while since I've given a Rossi Family Update...aka "here's what's up with Julian these days!"

He's a handful; we'll start with that! An adorable, lovable, hilarious, precious, crazy handful. He's always been kind of a "high needs" baby, to use the phrase by Dr. William Sears. Defined by another blogger as: "a special brand of little ones that must constantly be held, constantly be "bounced" or walked around, eat around the clock, refuse to self-soothe, reject pacifiers and bottles, hate to be cuddled -- and the list goes on." Sounds like Julian!

I wanted to write this next part to just lay it all out; to answer any questions there may be on my choices and "just how long are we going to co-sleep and breastfeed". (Because, DUH, that's everyone else's business, right?)

How have I handled this "high needs" baby and now toddler of mine? I still co-sleep and I will continue to do so until we all (Jordan, Julian and I) feel comfortable with stopping. We currently live in a one bedroom apartment, so he's going to be in our room for the next two years of seminary regardless. We all sleep better in our respective beds. Our full-sized bed is on the box spring on the ground - that's where Julian and I sleep. The twin-sized mat (it's actually two mats on top of each other that end up being the exact size of a twin) is literally right next to our bed, touching it, and that's where Jordan sleeps. I can reach out and touch him, no worries there. Jordan works nights and also gets up a lot earlier than Julian and I during the school year. (5:30/6am compared to 8isham). We LIKE this sleeping arrangement. Even if Julian had his own room, he would still be sleeping in my bed. I like it, he likes it, Jordan likes it. Really, that's all that matters. It works for us and it's not harming anyone. In fact, it helps. It helps Julian and I bond. If we've had a rough day (ie: if Juilan was a pill and mommy had to pray for patience) all of that tension disappears when I am lying in bed nursing him to sleep and cuddling whenever he wakes up. It calms him down. It helps us both sleep better at night. It encourages breastfeeding. 

On to my next point. Julian is now 15 months old and I don't see any sign of weaning. And I LIKE this! Jordan likes it. Julian likes it. Again, that's all that matters. He's refused the paci. Never liked a bottle until recently, and let's be honest, I don't really need to be pumping and giving him breastmilk via a bottle at this day and age. Those who say "why don't you just pump and feed your toddler with a bottle?" Um, do you realize how much *work* that is? How *impersonal* that sounds? I've been happily and successfully breastfeeding my son for 15 months. Why would I suddenly stop a good and easy thing in favor of: using an expensive pump, attempting to get more than an ounce in 20 minutes, washing a bottle, etc when I could just: pull down my shirt, nurse my son and be done in about 1-5 minutes flat? Nursing toddlers aren't the same as nursing newborns. He used to nurse for about 20 minutes every 90 minutes, give or take. Now he nurses, well, there really isn't much of a schedule! He nurses a few times at night, before his nap, after his nap, before bed time and any other time he's feeling a little need for the milky. To him, it's not just nutrition. It's comfort. I tried to get him attached to a lovely, a paci, a teddy, or what have you. I'm "secretly" happy he didn't care for any of those things. He just wants his mama and the yummy, comforting milky I provide. Nursing Julian allows for us to have a calm, cool and collected moment together (except for when he's doing nursing acrobats). 

Why don't I wean? You may ask. Why would I? Is my question to those pondering this. The World Health Organization (WHO) states this: "Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond" And then there's this: "the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) reaffirms its recommendation of exclusive breastfeeding for about the first six months of a baby's life, followed by breastfeeding in combination with the introduction of complementary foods until at least 12 months of age, and continuation of breastfeeding for as long as mutually desired by mother and baby." You can also read this article from La Leche League. Anyhow, these are just a few snippets highlighting why it's "okay" and even "beneficial" to continue to breastfeed well past 12 months of age. In fact, I'm not going to take the time to look up and post all the websites/links, but here's one quote from www.kellymom.com: "Child-led weaning occurs when a child no longer has a need to nurse – nutritionally or emotionally. A baby who self-weans is usually well over a year old, is getting most of his nutrition from solids, is drinking well from a cup, and cuts down on nursing gradually. If children are truly allowed to self-wean in their own time, most will do so somewhere between the 2nd and 4th year. Obviously, some will wean before this time and some will wean after this time, too."

I truly believe that the co-sleeping and (extended) breastfeeding have helped me to meet Julian's physical, emotional, and physiological needs. It has helped me, as well. It puts less pressure on me, for sure. I don't need to "get him to sleep in his crib", "learn to fall asleep without nursing/rocking/bouncing/whatever", have some sort of "feeding schedule that fits MY needs". I'm a stay at home mom. It's not like being this kind of parent has caused me to lose who I am. This IS who I am. I am a child of God. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am homemaker. I am SO many things.

What else has been going on in the SoCal Rossi household? (Because there's the SLO-Cal Rossi household as well, so I must differentiate. :) ) Well, on July 6th we signed a lease for a new apartment complex in Escondido. We moved out of our comfortable 2 bedroom condo in Scripps Ranch, San Diego to an equally comfortable 1 bedroom apartment in north Escondido. Our desire was for me to be able to fully focus on Julian and being a better wife and for Jordan to be closer to seminary. So far it has been awesome! I am frightfully busy...although I most certainly can be making better use of what little free time I have. Our little apartment is coming together nicely! Our neighbors are great and the area feels safe. It's still summer, so things aren't truly in full-swing just yet. Jordan starts school full-time in 2 1/2 weeks. He'll be entering his 2nd year of the Masters of Divinity (M.Div) program here at Westminster Seminary California. There is the option to get through it in 4 years, but I'm quite confident that he can do it in 3. He's studly like that. On top of his full time grad school he's also working 18-30 hours a week as a security guard. I'm not gonna lie, I think he's awesome. Sure, we're still flat broke and in the red due to student loans, but we're getting through, trusting God and working hard!

When September rolls around I plan on doing weekly play-dates with fellow church and seminary mommies. I used to be a social butterfly back in my single and pre-Julian days. Since having a baby I've become somewhat of a recluse! Eek! Not wise I tell you, not wise at all! I end up doing things like spending too much time on Facebook or watching Netflix! I need to get out and make friends! I also looked up the kid's library schedule here in Escondido. Definitely going there a couple times a week! Storytime and music for toddlers? Yes, please! Julian loves to be out and about, be around other children, and see new sights. This will be good for us. 

Of course, last but not least, I MISS MY FAMILY!!! My parents and siblings are in Templeton doing their thing and my wonderful in-laws and in San Luis Obispo doing their thing. *Le Sigh*. Oh if only there weren't 300 miles between us. I last saw them in June/July. Not too long ago, but when you're tight-knit family, every week seems like so long! Thankfully I get to see my lovely sister-in-law, Courtney, and her boyfriend, Uncle Marky, in just 4 days! We can't wait! In September I hope to take Julian and head to SLO/Templeton for a much needed visit with the fam. It can't come soon enough!

Oh, and did I mention that my 10 year high school reunion is coming up this weekend?!?! Sadly, I won't be able to attend, but I just wanted to point out that I am now 28 years old and have been out of high school for 10 years. Time flies! 

Whew! This was a LONG blog post! I had a lot to catch up on. Thanks for reading!

My Baby Must-Haves: PART ONE

As I near the one year mark of Julian's birth (crazy?!?!) I'm recalling all the items I've used and continue using these past 11 1/2 months. I remember when I was pregnant and scouring the internet/birth boards for just what I might need when the baby arrives. There are the must haves, nice to haves and don't needs. :)

Here's just a sneak peek:

• My Brest Friend nursing pillow. Better than the Boppy! It clips on, which keeps it in place - a very useful thing when nursing a tiny newborn. I no longer use a nursing pillow because Julian just sits in my lap these days as he nurses, but for the first couple of months, it is vital, otherwise gnarly back and neck aches will occur. I got mine used/free from a friend.
• A Boppy pillow, or Boppy Newborn Lounger pillow. I had the Boppy and I used for Julian to rest in and I also, occasionally, used it underneath My Brest Friend pillow for extra height, since I'm long-torso-ed.
• A white noise maker. I don't care what kind, just as long is it makes some darn good white noise! For the longest time I used this website. 
• A bouncy chair. It doesn't need to be fancy, but one that vibrates (and most do) is really nice. Julian slept in his for the first few months when he wouldn't sleep any where else. He also chilled in it while I took a shower. We got ours used/free from a friend.
• A travel swing or regular swing. We have a travel swing, however I think a swing that plugs in would have been a better investment. At this point in Julian's young life, a swing is the only thing he will fall asleep in! We've taken it to friend's houses and on visits to the family. It also moves from room-to-room, when needed. We got ours used for $25.00 at a consignment shop. (Are you catching my trend here? Some things are better new. Other things are perfectly ok used!)
• A good stroller/travel system. No explanation needed. :) 
• Baby carriers galore!! I *heart* baby carriers. I'm slightly obsessed.   Babywearing is AWESOME and I highly, HIGHLY recommend it beginning from day one. I have an Ergo which I still use, a Moby wrap, which I used when he was tiny (recently sold it on ebay), and a Gypsy Mama Bali Baby Breeze wrap which is awesome for getting him to sleep when I'm at church! I think if I had to do it all over again, and if I could add to my current stash, I would have someone custom make me a stretchy wrap, like the Moby, only a good foot or two shorter. It was way.too.long for me! Maybe I could follow this tutorial? I would love a Sakura Bloom ring sling. They are simply gorgeous! I *almost* won one on ebay! Of course, I'd also love a Mei Tai, who wouldn't?  And then there's a new wrap. Oh how I'd love to buy one of these! Anyhow, that's about it for my obsession. ;)

More to come...

My Little Monkey

Life as a mother is a whirlwind. A whirlwind of sleepless nights, poopy diapers, aching arms, back and head, nearly constant entertainment, food prep, bath prep, nap time routines and bed time stories, bruised arms from little pincers, and scabs from razor-sharp fingernails. It is also snuggles, precious moments, night time cuddles, slobbery, open-mouthed kisses, the knowledge that you are so needed and so sought after.

Sometimes I think back on my life before Julian and although it was lovely sleeping 9+ straight hours a night, going out after 7pm and taking a shower whenever I felt like it, I can't even imagine going back to that sort of life. I love being a mother. I love being depended upon and needed. Julian is quite demanding, intense, dramatic...dare I say a "strong-willed child"?!?! He doesn't sleep well, his mood changes very quickly from super happy playing with the crayons, to "oh-my-goodness-I'm-freaking-out-because-you're-changing-my-diaper-and-it-IS-the-end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it!!!". (You should hear him; you'd really think I was cutting off his little toe). My child. My sweet, sweet, difficult child. Oh how I love and adore him! I can't even fathom life without my baby Julian.

He will be 11 months old on April 2nd; that's in 3 days. I've already started planning his first birthday party - in fact, invitations have been made and are going out soon! He's not quite walking yet, at least, not unprovocted. It we entice him or prop him up then he can literally walk accross the room with no problems. He simply prefers to crawl because, well, it is faster and safer. He's always been a cautious kid. He's not really accident-prone and thank goodness for that because Jordan would make him wear a helmet, I'm sure of it!

He loves coloring with his new bath crayons in the tub and also with regular crayons. He thinks it is hilarious to toss his sippy cup off the table and makes THE.BEST face while doing it, knowing of course that he's going to get a reaction from mama and dada. We try not to, but we crack up. He's just so darn cute! I know this will bite us in the butt later. Chasing after the cats with dad is another fav pastime; that always gets him going and keeps him happy. His BFF is Fisher J. Chase, who is 17 months old. They play so well together, it really is the cutest thing. His absolute favoritist thing, however, is being outside. As soon as I grab my sunglasses and open the front door he gets a huge open mouthed grin on his face. He crawls all around on the sidewalk, picking up sticks and leaves as he goes. He's my little nature boy. :) We have little bunny rabbits at our complex and naturally, he loves them as well. He always makes these cute little squeaky noises when he sees them.

He really enjoys being out and about in general. He's been doing great going on errands with me and even seems to be enjoying his car seat now. (Thank the good Lord because those days of endless screaming in the car were brutal!).

He's learned how to crawl up the stairs, clap, wave by-bye, cove his eyes when playing peekaboo, tip his sippy back, stand for long periods of time, and walk when he feels like it. Obviously, I'm a proud mama. I love my little boy and I have to remember to thank God every day for the blessing that he is.

Here is his precious 10 day old self. I remember those days...back when he would just sleep anywhere and everywhere. Ah, the newborn stage. Sometimes I miss it. Someday there will be another newborn in this household.  Look at his royal cuteness now! 6 teeth and 4 haircuts later at almost 11 months old.

That's my little monkey. :) 

Product Review!

I've been using some new products lately and naturally, here I am to shamelessly promote them. I enjoy using "green" products, even if they aren't 100% eco-friendly, every little bit of green-ness helps, I believe. I wanted a product that I felt safe to use around Julian and didn't need to open my windows to "air out" the place while disinfecting my home. I started using Melaleuca brand cleaning and bath products a couple months ago and so far here are my favorites:

For kitchen disenfecting needs I use Sol-U-Guard Botanical. This stuff is the bomb. I feel goood when using it because I know I'm not breathing in harsh chemicals and it works fabulously! It even gets off rust stains. I use it every day for cleaning my stove top, kitchen sink and counters, microwave, etc. It is awesome!

I recently started using Affinia Volumizing Conditioner and it is yummyful! My hair feels GREAT! Soft, smooth and detangled! What more could you want? It is safe for color treated hair, as well, aaand it contains zero sulfates. Good stuff right here!

Renew Intensive Skin Therepy hand lotion is superb! I'm not that dedicated to actively moisturizing my hands daily, but I should be...Anyhow, my hands have been uber dry/chaffed due to constant washing (hello multiple poopy diaper changes a day!!) and this stuff softens them right up! A lot of hand lotions irritate my skin, causing a red, bumpy rash, but this stuff causes me no problems at all. Woo!

This Body Satin Facial Cleanser Plus Toner is delightful! It smells nummy and has a great lather to it! My face feels so soft and clean. :) (And no irritations!). It has a nice, cool tingly feel which is always a plus in face wash, to me at least. 

Let's face it, dishes have to get washed, and thank goodness for automatic dishwashers! If you have to use anything, use Diamond Brite Automatic Dishwasher Gel. It's the best and you only have to use a tiny bit. (That's what's so great about these products, they are highly concentrated so you get more for your money!)

And then there's laundry...another daily chore in this household. A teeny tiny cupful of this awesome stuff does the trick: MelaPower Detergent. Get it and get it now. You won't be sorry! (Unless you're allergic to tea tree oil, in that case, don't get it. After washing Julian's cloth diapers in this stuff he broke out in a rash. Sad day, indeed. :( But I still use it for everything else!) 

Are you interested in their stuff? Check out their website! www.melaleuca.com. Talk to me about it! I'd love to get you hooked on these products. Know someone who might be interested? You can sign up together! (Each month you need to meet a points quota which means ordering about $75 worth of products. A little steep for most people. I actually have two other people that I'm signed up with so we share the responsibility most of the time.)

Julian is 9 Months!

Okay, okay, I'm sorry it has been way too long since I have blogged. I'm really not a very good blogger, so I'm sure you haven't miss it. Anyhow, this month Julian turned 9 months old! 9 months in + 9 months out = 18 months of total life. Every day I look at my son, squeeze him tight, and can't believe how much love I have for him. This is just a little bragging/update on Julian post, btw, so beware of the many proud mommy moments to come.

Some things he knows how to do:

· Clap on command and whenever he hears music or we say "yaaay!" He was clapping in church the other day during music worship (he was actually the only one clapping, lol. I'm still not used to how conservative our worship services are, especially growing up in a Foursquare church!) He also started clapping while in Trader Joe's when he hear the music on the overhead speakers. So cute, I must say.

· He waves "hi" and "bye"! He picked up on that one fairly quickly. He does it on command, as well. He's a genius child, I tell you. No, I'm not biased. ;)

· He can crawl/pull himself up/cruise. WOOT! That's my boy. All mobile and such. It's like he seems the world in a whole new way now and he loves it!

· He can even stand for a few seconds on his own, but only when he's not paying attention the fact that he's not holding onto anything.

· He imitates sounds such as monkeys and cats. He also imitates mommy and daddy when we make silly noises or sing.

· He can point and reach for objects that he wants.

· He can, and does, throw a fit when he doesn't get his way. It's pretty cute, really. He throws his head back and wails and then I proceed to laugh at him. Probably not the best response, but I'm only human.

· He can tip his sippy cup back when he's drinking out of it - finally! He's obsessed with water and drinking out of regular cups, too. And don't you dare take that cup away as he WILL freak out.

· He eats everything! (Except the usual no-no's like honey, etc). He loves food of all kinds, just not when we actually feed it to him. He likes to do it himself, because ya know, he's a big boy and all. His favorite is still plain ol' bananers, but he eats whatever we are eating for dinner, whether it be chicken enchiladas or a spinach and pasta casserole.

· He can point out the lion and the baby in his bed time story book. Impressive, right? I know, I know, I'm soooo bragging!

Some things he doesn't do:

· He doesn't "sleep through the night". I'm not sure if that will happen any time soon, really. I don't mind. I like being able to tend to his needs. He's waking anywhere from 3-6 times a night and I nurse him back to sleep. Since we co-sleep it is really quite easy. Thanks to the amber necklace, our night time sleep has vastly improved.

· Though I was having him sleep in his crib for naps, that has temporarily stopped. He just doesn't sleep well in there. He wakes up after 40 minutes still tired and cranky, yet cannot fall back asleep. He sleeps swaddled and in his swing. This method works for us and I honestly don't believe it is damaging to him in any way. Pretty soon he will outgrow it and we will have no choice but to put him in his crib, but for now, it is what it is.

· He doesn't self-soothe. He really has no idea how. I'm his soother (well, my boobie milk is his soother). I comfort nurse, I nurse to sleep, I nurse for nourishment. I nurse A LOT. But, I LOVE nursing.

I really love being his mommy. Some people might think I'm not doing things the right way. But is there really "one right way" to parent a baby? I don't think there is. This is the way that I have chosen to parent my baby. It doesn't make me better or worse. Sure, he may be in my bed till he's 2. Sure, he may never be left with a baby sitter. Sure, he may need the boob to fall asleep for another year. I don't mind. Jordan doesn't mind either. I think that's what is important. Mom and dad need to be on the same page when it comes to parenting. If Jordan were against me cosleeping or nursing for comfort, then there would be some changes. But I'm happy to report that he is all for it. He encourages it, even. I'm becoming crunchier and crunchier in my parenting expedition. It's kinda fun. I kinda like it. I like being a little "edgy" and dare we say, controversial??

I’ve had to learn the hard way how to keep my mouth shut and my opinions to myself. Those who know me know that I can get quite passionate about certain topics. (Such as childbirth and extended breastfeeding). I’m learning that if someone has an interest in these topics, they will come to me. Otherwise, I should zip it! Bear with me on this, I’m a slow learner, but I will do my best to stop being offensive!

I'm still learning, researching, making mistakes, changing my mind. That's what parenting is all about. None of us are perfect. :)

Some Things I've Learned in the Past 6 Months

On November 2nd I will have been a mother for 6 months. Having a baby is even better than I ever hoped or imagined it would be, and harder! Haha. I love it, though! As a mom, one must learn to set aside their preconceived notions and ideas for motherhood (like I had mentioned in my last entry) and also lower the expectations for oneself. Because if you don't you (and yes, I mean YOU) will go crazy! (And by "you", I really mean ME). ;)

During the week I am, in essence, a mother to twins. One of the twins is just a little more advanced than the other. (That would be my sweet little Fisher Face who just turned 1 on Saturday!) I try to imagine what life would be like if I ACTUALLY had twins and I know it would be much more difficult! I only have Fisher about 45 or less hours a week....having the 2nd twin would be a 24/7 job. So, I'm thankful I really only have one child at this point in my life. I've discovered that I'm not good at being productive after a night of waking up 3-6 times. I would like to think that I am, but I'm not. (I mean, take right now for instance! I SHOULD be folding that laundry that's draped over the couch, but instead I'm blogging!). Some days, both babies nap at the same time which gives me a precious hour, give or take, of time "alone". My brain tells me to get some chores done, but my body tells me to slack off or take a nap. I tend to listen to my body more than my brain - which is sometimes a good thing. :)

So what have I learned lately? I've learned to accept the fact that the laundry, the dishes, the projects, the bills to pay, the mail to sort, the floor to vacuum, the bath tub to clean and the bed to make will ALWAYS be there and really won't ever change or "grow up". I will always have chores to do. My house will never be as clean as I would like it to be. My projects will always take 10 times longer to finish because I have 2 babies to care for. But guess what/who will change and "grow up" right before my eyes, every day?? My son. My sweet little baby boy, Julian! He's nearly 6 months old. He's more than doubled his birth weight (8lbs 2oz at birth and now 19lbs 5oz at 6 months) and has added more than 7 inches to his height. He is sitting up, rolling over both ways, reaching for his mommy, drinking from a sippy cup, eating big people food, blowing raspberries, scooting around on his belly, learning all the different sounds and levels of noise his voice makes and simply GROWING UP. 

My house may not be spotless - far from it, in fact - but I'm not missing out of watching my son grow and learn every minute of the day. I wouldn't change that for the world. I have to tell myself "it's okay" to ignore the chores in favor of sitting on the ground playing with Julian. Or, "it's okay" to not fix my hair or makeup in order to gain more time cuddling with my baby.

So I guess that's what I've learned - that apart from God and my husband, my son is the most important person in my life and nothing else matters! It's true and I ain't ashamed to admit that. :)

Oh, Motherhood!

I'm a mommy now. I've been a mommy for nearly 6 whole months! I'm pretty much living my dream - minus a decent paycheck, a house and a mini van. Yes, those are my only other desired right now - haha. Riiiight. Anyhow, that's beside the point. The point is that I am now a mother. Before I became a mom I had all these ideas on parenthood. Ideas that I assumed would become actual concrete actions. All I have to say to that is this: LOL! Literally, I am laughing out loud at myself and these so-called ideas.

Here are some of the ideas I had in mind and also, what actually happened:

* I was never going to sleep with my baby.
* I started co-sleeping when Julian was 4 months old after many, many, many nights of sitting up in bed and nursing (approx 3-6 times a night), attempting to stay awake and getting a gnarly crick in the neck during the process. Now that we co-sleep (somewhat trying to get him into his new and fancy little crib) I simply have to roll over, whip out the boob (pardon my language! *GASP*) and we both peacefully drift back off to sleep.

* I was going to let my baby "cry it out".....
*.....and then I actually birthed my precious, sweet, innocent little boy (who had just spent the past 39 weeks and 4 days cozy and warm in my uterus) aaaand "CIO" when OUT the window, far, far, faaaar away.

* I was going to wait until my child was 6 months old before I started him on solids.
* I started trying out little tastes here and there about a week shy of 4 months! Granted, I only give him organic, homemade food, of course!

* I wasn't going to rock or nurse my child to sleep.
* And then I realized that after 39 weeks and 4 days in my uterus, being rocked to sleep was something my son was quite accustomed to! Why stop the moment he pops into the big, bright world?? As far as nursing to sleep goes, it seemed only natural. I love nursing. I have to admit, it was extremely painful the first 3 months, but once the initial pain subsided I was golden! I nursed every 1- 1.5 hours the first 4 1/2 months of this kid's life! He just recently started going 2-3 hours between feedings. Anyhow, nursing has a calming effect. It calms the baby, thus putting him to sleep. It calms the mommy, thus reducing stress. I love nursing. Did I say that already?

That's really all I have time for, since it's 10:30pm and I really should go to sleep! (Especially since Julian has been sleeping since 7:15pm!) But let me first leave you with some of my favorite websites, books/authors that has influenced my crunchy way of thinking:

Websites:
www.kellymom.com
www.askdrsears.com
www.spinningbabies.com

Books:
Natural Childbirth: The Bradley Way (revised edition)by Susan McCutcheon-Rosegg
Husband-Coached Childbirth: The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth by Dr. Robert Bradley
The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp
The No-Cry Sleep Solution & The No-Cry Nap Solution by Elizabeth Pantley
The Birth Book by Dr. Sears
The Baby Book by Dr. Sears

Can I just say that I love Dr. Sears? He's the bomb diggity.

That is all. Goodnight....Moon. 

My Birth Story

This is the version of my birth story that I posted on Babycenter.com:

Baby's Name: Julian Germanicus Augustus Rossi

Date of Birth: 5/2/2011

Original Due Date: 5/6/2011

Weeks Pregnant: 39 weeks 4 days

Baby's Weight: 8lbs 2 oz

Baby's Height: 20.5 inches

Total labor time from start to finish: 12.5 hours.

Your Birth Story:

On Saturday I started having Braxton Hicks contractions fairly frequently until about 2am when they just stopped. They weren't painful at all, but I had a feeling that true labor might be imminent. At my doctor's appt just a few days earlier I was a mere fingertip dilated, pretty soft, posterior cervix, and baby's head was sitting very low. None of these things gave us any indication of when he would be born. On Sunday I only experienced one or two BHs, so I assumed I would make it at least to my due date, if not beyond.

Monday early morning (around midnight) I was woken up by some mild contractions that I knew were not your typical BH. The bottom part of my abdomen felt crampy, like a menstrual cramp would feel, and my lower back felt some discomfort. I started timing the contractions around 2am and they were 10-15 minutes apart.  By around 4 maybe they were about 5-10 minutes apart. I was still in denial that I was actually in labor (because I HATE getting my hopes up!), but I texted my mom, and a couple of my best friends just to let them know this might be it! Meanwhile, I let my husband sleep because he had a final on Monday at 8am!

At 5:40 a.m. my husband awoke to find me in the living room, trying to rest and manage my contractions. They weren’t too bad at that point, so I didn’t need his help yet with coaching. He went about his business getting things in order, put the car seat and my bag in the car, ate breakfast, got the guest room ready for my mom, etc.

Around 7 we went for a walk, which felt great! (I HIGHLY suggest laboring upright for as long as you can handle it!) I had a few contractions on the walk and had to hold on to my husband during them. Around 8 I had  a piece of toast and some strawberries but threw them up shortly after. I tried to drink some water and diluted gatorade, but also threw those things up. No more food for me! I just tried to sip on water as much as possible so as not to get dehydrated. By 9 a.m. my contractions were about 1 ½ to 3 minutes apart and I though I still didn’t want to go to the hospital, I felt like it was time. They were getting my painful and I definitely needed to use my husband as support. (I would hang from him and make low moans whenever I had them). At 9:30am we headed out and let my mom know. (She had a 2 ½ hour drive). We literally live 2 minutes from the hospital (I could see our apartment complex from my post partum room!) so the drive over wasn’t so bad. (So I labored at home for 9 ½ hours and left for the hospital only after my contractions were 1 1/2 to 3 minutes apart!)

When we got to the valet parking area I jumped out of the car and vomited in the street, meanwhile, there were people just a few feet away from me eating…oops! Hopefully they understand that a woman in labor just can’t control those things!) We checked in (and even though I was preregistered, check in time was a pain! Trying to listed to instructions and sign papers while having a contractions is not my cup of tea, and having the lady be rude about it made me even more mad…)

I went to triage where I gave the nurse my birth plan (natural, unmedicated – which of course they thought I was crazy, but thankfully respected ALL of my wishes!!) I was 4 cm dilated and 100 percent effaced! WHOO HOO! They took me to my L&D room where I continued to labor with just my husband. They were barely able to monitor me because I moved around SO much. I didn’t have the IV plugged in or anything, it was just inserted into my arm just in case. I COULD NOT labor in bed lying down. I had to be either pacing in my room, leaning against a wall moving my hips back and forth, or hanging on my husband. I hardly had any rest from my contractions and was having terrible back labor. They kept asking me if I wanted pain meds but I continued to refuse. They also kept trying to get me lie down, take my temperature and blood pressure, etc while I was having contractions and I pretty much ignored them and just did my thing. Jordan was GREAT at basically keeping them away. After a while they pretty much left me alone because they realized I was not going to do things their way, lol. It was great being able to labor with just my husband.

Because I wasn’t really being monitored, they didn’t know where I was at with my contractions. I just knew they seemed to come one on top of the other and for about an hour they were almost unbearable. I couldn’t have gotten through the pain without my husband! I told him he makes a wonderful doula, haha! I held onto him like my life depended on it through each contraction – I’m surprised he doesn’t have bruises! At one point I even bit his shoulder….not hard though.  To manage the pain, I had to moan very loudly! VERY loudly….but I made sure I didn’t scream because I know that makes it worse. I’m not gonna lie, the pain during transition was the most pain I had ever felt in my life, but I hung on! Eventually I ended up lying on my side on the bed when I started having pushing contractions. I got up once and realized that I had finally lost my mucus plug and there was a big bloody show. I layed back down throughout those pushing contractions and had to yell as loud as I could into the pillow. (The nurses were trying to tell me how to breath – in through my nose and out through my mouth; I tried it once and hated how it felt, so I just kept continuing on with my method of moaning/yelling into the pillow through the contractions, which felt WAY better).

At that point my husband told the nursed I was needing to push and could they PLEASE check my cervix?? When they checked me all they would feel was my bulging bag of waters! I went from 4 to 10 cm in about 2 hours. I had wanted to push while using the squat bar, but at that moment all I could think about was pushing my baby out. They rolled me over to my back and propped me up a bit (not as high as I would have liked, but I was too delusional to think straight! My husband mentioned the squat bar, but it was kind of too late.) I started pushing before my OB got there, but she made it in time to catch the baby. My mom and little showed up in time to help as well. My mom held one leg while my husband held the other. I pushed when I felt the urge and did so for about 20 minutes. My water broke during the pushing stage. Pushing was a crazy intense feeling! It didn’t burn, but it didn’t feel good either. To get through it I imagined pushing out the biggest poo in the world! Haha. I also was just in the mindset that my baby’s head needed to get out and I needed to make that happen! Pushing without drugs gives you a natural high, btw. I felt incredibly euphoric! My mom and sister said I was pretty funny….

Like I said, pushing lasted about 20 minutes and out came my baby boy! It’s like they all say, once the head is out, the pain is gone and then the body just slides on out. I had my eyes closed the entire time except for when his body was coming out – Watching that was an incredibly amazing thing!! My OB immediately put him to my chest where he screamed and screamed.  I was able to birth the placenta naturally a few minutes later – it felt really good when that slipped out; all warm and squishy. I had a 2nd degree tear which seemed to take a zillion stitches! I got shot up with some Novocain, but was still able to feel her stitching sometimes, but it wasn’t bad. I refused the pitocin, so they massaged my fundus to make sure I didn’t have any hemorrhaging. Everything worked out PERFECTLY! We didn’t have a single problem and I was able to have a completely natural and drug free labor and delivery. My baby boy got a 9/10 on his APGAR test and has not had a single thing wrong with him. He didn’t nurse well the first 24 hours because he just wanted to sleep, but it wasn’t a problem. Now all he wants to do is nurse!

Considering how small my belly was, everyone was shocked at how big he ended up being! I am totally in love with my dark-haired little boy. He is a gift from God and my husband and I couldn’t be happier! I’m back home now recovering – feeling really good. The stitches really aren’t that bad,.

***So that’s the story I posted on babycenter.com. I had zero pain meds, no pitocin, no IV, no problems! They respected all of my wishes (though they thought I was crazy). All in all I feel like I had a very positive experience. Jordan keeps saying that I could have easily had our baby at home, especially considering there were zero complications. I agree, so next time we will research going to do a birthing center or a homebirth with a midwife. I’m recovering SUPER well. I only have very minimal discomfort from the tearing.***

Baby Nursery? What's That?

Jordan and I (and our two gatos) live in a cute little two bedroom apartment. It's 925 square feet and we really enjoy it there. In the guest room we have: a twin bed, exercise bike, weights and other work out equipment, two litter boxes, a bookshelf, a desk, an old box TV that isn't plugged in, an extra dining room chair, and two thick sleeping mats for guests. The closet is also full...so that left me thinking: Where Does Baby Go???! Why, in the master bedroom, of course! :) Considering we will only be living in Fresno and in that apartment until around July, it's really no biggie that baby has taken over half of our room. Just a little rearranging and organizing and voila! Baby now has a place to go. :) (And mommy and daddy STILL have a very nicely functioning master bedroom.)

After a few shopping sprees and a delightful baby shower at the coast last weekend, I am now fully prepared to have this baby boy in our home and taken care of. (Because it's not like I cold have done without the changing pad, 2 pocket slings, 30 newborn size onsies and bathtub squirters, right?! Hehe, so spoiled!) In my mind, there are still a few items I need or would like to have - such as a crib, crib sheets, changing pad covers, diaper pail, wipe warmer and swaddling blankets - but those things can wait. So here is a preview of our "nursery" until we move to San Diego and get to have a "real" one...

First of all, this is what the living room looked like yesterday after we arrived home from the coast and unpacked all the baby stuff.

Aaaand apparently Hosea think HE'S the baby...a few second after this picture was taken he got squirted with the water bottle, btw, can't have kitty fur all over the baby's things!

Baby changing station. I gave up my dresser - oh well, he's worth it! Obviously, you can tell that nothing really matches, other than the overall "blue theme", but like I said, it's only temporary until the "real" nursery can be put together in San Diego.

Diapers, spit up rags, board books, shoes!

Super CUTE wall sign from Michelle Farley...and a bag of baby teethers and toys for when he's a bit older. :)

A plethera of beanies...because every child needs 15 beanies, right?! All of them are hand-me-downs. :)

Booty department: wipes, diapers, lotion, vasaline, desitin. CHECK CHECK!

First drawer: pajamas. Second drawer: everyday body suits.

Middle drawer: 30, yes, I said 30, onesies, (Most are hand-me-downs from my beloved Ashely Chase.), little comfy pants, a pair of jeans, and some t-shirts.

Bottom drawer: little sockies, bibs, some wash cloths and changing pad covers, pacis, and a toiletry kit.

His sleeping area: of course, I know that he can't sleep with stuffed animals just yet, but for now that's where puppy is hangin' out. On the chair to the right houses a basket of slings, carriers, a bobby pillow, shopping cart cover and baby monitor.

Baby boy gets a spot in the bathroom, too! His shelf has some washcloths there to the left and a in the green basket are his soaps, lotions, bath toys, and a nifty water pourer thing. (Thanks Chel Chel!)

A closer look....just because. :)

And that's it for the baby nursery! I'm super blessed by all my wonderful friends and family for all the new and used items they have given me.  Soooo thankful!!! I still need a crib, but I'm waiting on that until we move to San Diego. We don't have any room for one right now, so it really doesn't matter.

And now for an updated belly bump:

32 weeks along, 8 weeks to go (give or take!)

Bare Belly Bump!